the worlds worst bestfriend .

what is worst than shit  right now ? its me ..today is the best daylight and the worst night ..3 hours ago i was laughing and now im full of tears ..I didn't realize before how stupid i am not realizing im a bad friend .i made my bestfriend felt like a 'kuli ' ,i didnt make and effort to save my other friendship ..and im being like a burden to my bestfriend and her mum .Now i feel like a total idiot shit .i thank my own bestfriend for making me realize that ..what she did was right .i obviously suck in friendship ,there's a whole history behind that ..but i would't mind learning to be a better bestfriend because i do love her ,i hope she forgives this idiot who messed up evrything .she thought me a lot about friendship and to be more carring and sensetive towards others .my life is so complicated but i know hers is never far away from that .its amazing how she still stick around around me cuz without her i am alone .Ive think about this  hard but  there is no words that i can say to you except for forgive me please ?